Narrating Kinship and Connection: The Life Stories of Adult-Children Raised by LGBTQ Parents

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Fears about the outcomes of children raised by LGBTQ parents have overwhelmed LGBTQ parenting debates for decades. While these narratives of risk and fear have become somewhat less dominant in the UK, these arguments still continue today, with critiques against LGBTQ parenting citing the "best interests" of children as their main priority. This discourse of the "at risk" child, who will be "confused" by their LGBTQ-headed family, has consistently been at the core of political debates and academic research regarding LGBTQ parenting. While some existing research has argued that children of LGBTQ parents are essentially the same as children raised by heterosexual parents, others have suggested that LGBTQ parenting may lead to children becoming more progressive, open-minded or accepting. However, what is missing within these debates are the voices of the children brought up by these parents and in these families. With this in mind, the proposed fellowship study will expand on my PhD project which explored the lives of people raised by lesbian, bisexual, trans and queer (LBTQ) parents in the UK. Through drawing on my existing study, and conducting further research with people raised by gay fathers and trans parents, I will produce a draft monography that explores how people with LGBTQ parents narrate their life stories, particularly addressing the intersections of family, identity, social norms and historical context. Participants involved in the study have a variety of family structures, these included: people born to single, coupled or separated LGBTQ identifying parents, people whose parents disclosed their LGBTQ identity during their childhood/adolescence, a combination of heterosexual and LGBTQ parents through either divorce/separation or prearranged co-parenting arrangements, people with known donors, and those with LGBTQ parents who are not legally and/or biologically related but are considered parents. These are not simple stories and do not narrate neat family configurations. Thus, this project aims to capture some of the complexity and messiness of these life narratives, noting the multiple, ambivalent and often contradictory ways in which participants described their everyday family lives.This project addresses some key questions, such as: How do people with LGBTQ parents make sense of their own families and the notion of 'the family'? How do LGBTQ family stories feature in their life narratives? And how does having an LGBTQ parent shape the ongoing choices and family practices beyond early childhood? The monograph will examine the position of people with LGBTQ parents, as while they are mostly not LGBTQ themselves, they may still experience stigma, discrimination and similar life events to LGBTQ people. Like those who identify as LGBTQ, the sociohistorical context in which adult-children of LGBTQ parents are raised is clearly crucial to how their life course unfolds. Participants in the current study have noted the impact of legal restrictions, such as Section 28, on their encounters at school and within their peer groups. However, the narratives of children with LGBTQ parents do not entirely replicate LGBTQ stories but include unique and distinctive experiences.The first hand stories of people raised by LGBTQ parents presented in my monograph will explore issues such as genetic relatedness, origins, queer culture, coming-out, and ideas of 'normality' and normativity within LGBTQ families. These stories frequently centre on a desire to feel comfortable and belong, to feel understood for what made their families ordinary and what made them distinctive. This monograph will demonstrate the interplay between discourses and practices of family life, showing how many with LGBTQ parents strive to find a balance between highlighting their parents' minority genders and sexualities as vital parts of their identities, as well as normalising their experiences to 'fit' into specific spatial and temporal moments.