Sharing Our Stories: Experiences of Sibling Bereavement

不能保证与我们的兄弟姐妹保持积极的关系。事实上，只有和兄弟姐妹在一起，我们才能有最激烈的争吵和最微妙的和解。然而，我们与兄弟姐妹的关系可能是一生中持续时间最长、也可能是最亲密的关系之一。无论亲密程度或接触程度如何，我们与兄弟姐妹的联系是永久的。因此，兄弟姐妹可以在塑造我们是谁、我们如何看待自己以及其他人如何看待我们方面发挥不可或缺的作用。此外，兄弟姐妹的世代亲近和分享童年经历的独特机会意味着，没有其他朋友或家庭成员能够完全模仿兄弟姐妹所发挥的作用。因此，兄弟姐妹的死亡可能会对任何幸存的兄弟和/或姐妹产生深远的影响，开始一种不同于其他任何丧失亲人的经历。然而，关于兄弟姐妹丧亲的研究明显缺乏，因为研究的重点大多集中在经历过儿子或女儿死亡的父母身上。虽然这一损失意义重大，值得关注，但它不应削弱对失去亲人的兄弟姐妹所给予的认可和支持。这项奖学金建立在我的博士研究基础上，该研究旨在探索兄弟姐妹在成年早期的死亡如何长期塑造人们的生活。我想让失去亲人的兄弟姐妹发声，确保他们的经历在学术界和更广泛的社会中得到认可。与以往的任何研究不同，该研究的重点是丧亲的社会方面，而不是心理因素。这意味着，人们关注的是人死后的社会适应方式，而不是有效地哀悼的方式。参与者讨论了一些话题，比如他们的关系是如何改变的，他们是如何协商这些变化的，以及他们是如何在公共场合谈论自己的丧亲之痛的。通过采取这种方法，人们现在知道，父母、家人和朋友对兄弟姐妹能够表达自己的方式以及他们感到有权哀悼的程度产生了重大影响。研究还显示，兄弟姐妹的死亡会产生终生影响，比如在照顾年迈的父母时，这一点现在必须反映在提供给失去亲人的兄弟姐妹的规定中。因此，该奖学金的目的是在致力于支持受影响的人的专业人员和实践者之间传播博士研究结果，并发起关于兄弟姐妹丧亲的对话。通过分享丰富而详细的生活经验，我的博士学位为政策制定者和实践者提供了丰富的重要见解。在团契期间，我将与主要利益攸关方合作，在组织支持兄弟姐妹的方式和他们提供的服务方面做出重大改变。我将与慈悲之友密切合作，这是一家依靠志愿者为失去亲人的父母、兄弟姐妹和祖父母提供同伴指导和指导的慈善机构。我们将共同利用我的博士发现来设计和实施一套战略和资源，如工作人员手册或培训手册，以帮助志愿者更好地支持失去亲人的兄弟姐妹访问该慈善机构。我还将与全国丧亲联盟合作，这是一个由多个组织组成的机构，它们联合起来提供有关研究最新情况的信息，以便为最佳实践提供信息，并在地方和国家层面影响政策制定者。这将极大地扩大奖学金影响力的影响范围，将我的博士发现告知高级员工，这样他们就可以在自己的组织内分发这些发现，并将其用作游说活动的一部分。通过这些活动，该奖学金将在学术和专业知识之间的协作参与下，对整个英国的丧亲支持服务产生切实的影响。

There is no guarantee of a positive relationship with our siblings. Indeed, it is with brothers and sisters that we can have the fiercest of fall outs and most subtle of reconcilliations. Yet the relationship we share with our siblings can be one of the longest and possibly most intimate relationships of a lifetime. Regardless of closeness or levels of contact, the connection we have to our siblings is permanent. As such, brothers and sisters can play an integral role in shaping who we are, how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Moreover, the generational closeness of siblings and unique opportunity for shared childhood experiences means that no other friend or family member is able to fully imitate the role that brothers and sisters maintain. It therefore follows that the death of a sibling can have profound implications for any surviving brothers and/or sisters, initiating a bereavement experience unlike any other. Yet there is a distinct lack of research on sibling bereavement as focus is mostly given to parents who have experienced the death of a son or daughter. While this loss is hugely significant and deserving of such attention, it should not detract from the level of recognition and support afforded to bereaved siblings.This fellowship builds on my PhD research, which explored how the death of a brother and/or sister in early adulthood shapes people's lives in the long term. I wanted to give a voice to bereaved siblings and ensure that their experiences were recognised, both in academia and wider society. Unlike any previous studies, focus was on the social aspects of bereavement, rather than psychological factors. This meant that attention was given to the way that people socially adjust following a death, rather than ways to grieve effectively. Participants discussed topics such as how their relationships had changed, how they had negotiated these changes and how they managed speaking about their bereavement in public situations. By taking this approach, it is now known that parents, family and friends significantly impact upon the ways that siblings are able to express themselves and the extent to which they feel entitled to grieve. The research also revealed that the death of a sibling has lifelong implications, such as when caring for elderly parents, which must now be reflected within the provision offered to bereaved siblings. The purpose of the fellowship, therefore, is to distribute the PhD findings and initiate conversation about sibling bereavement amongst professionals and practioners who work to support those affected.By sharing rich and detailed accounts of lived experience, my PhD provides a wealth of vital insights for policy makers and practitioners. During the fellowship, I will collaborate with key stakeholders to enact significant change in the way that organisations support siblings and the services that they provide. I will work closely with The Compassionate Friends, a charity which relies on volunteers to offer peer guidance and mentoring to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Together we will use my PhD findings to design and implement a set of strategies and resources, such as staff handbooks or training manuals, to help volunteers better support bereaved siblings who access the charity. I will also work with the National Bereavement Alliance, a body of organisations which unite to provide information about updates in research in order to inform best practice and influence policy makers at a local and national level. This will extend the reach of the fellowship impact considerably, informing senior staff of my PhD findings so that they can distribute it within their own organisation and use it as part of their lobbying campaigns. Through these activities, the fellowship will have tangible impact upon bereavement support services across the UK, informed by collaborative engagement between academic and professional expertise.