Sharing Our Stories: Experiences of Sibling Bereavement

没有人能保证我们和兄弟姐妹之间的关系是积极的。的确，在兄弟姐妹之间，我们可以有最激烈的争吵，也可以有最微妙的和解。然而，我们与兄弟姐妹之间的关系可能是一生中最长久、最亲密的关系之一。无论亲密程度或接触程度如何，我们与兄弟姐妹之间的联系是永久的。因此，兄弟姐妹可以在塑造我们是谁、我们如何看待自己以及他人如何看待我们方面发挥不可或缺的作用。此外，兄弟姐妹之间的代际亲密关系和分享童年经历的独特机会意味着，没有其他朋友或家庭成员能够完全模仿兄弟姐妹所扮演的角色。因此，兄弟姐妹的死亡可能对任何幸存的兄弟姐妹产生深远的影响，引发一种不同于其他任何一种的丧亲经历。然而，关于兄弟姐妹丧亲之痛的研究明显缺乏，因为研究的重点主要放在那些经历了儿子或女儿死亡的父母身上。虽然这一损失非常重大，值得如此关注，但它不应减损对失去亲人的兄弟姐妹的认可和支持。这项奖学金建立在我的博士研究的基础上，该研究探讨了兄弟姐妹在成年早期的死亡如何影响人们的长期生活。我想为失去亲人的兄弟姐妹发声，并确保他们的经历得到学术界和更广泛社会的认可。与以往的研究不同，这次研究的重点是丧亲之痛的社会方面，而不是心理因素。这意味着人们关注的是人们在死亡后的社会适应方式，而不是有效地悲伤的方式。参与者讨论的话题包括他们的关系如何改变，他们如何应对这些变化，以及他们如何在公共场合谈论他们的丧亲之痛。通过采用这种方法，我们现在知道父母、家人和朋友对兄弟姐妹表达自己的方式以及他们觉得有权悲伤的程度有很大的影响。研究还显示，兄弟姐妹的死亡会对一生产生影响，比如在照顾年迈的父母时，现在必须在向失去亲人的兄弟姐妹提供的服务中反映出来。因此，该奖学金的目的是传播博士的研究结果，并在那些致力于支持受影响者的专业人士和从业者之间发起关于兄弟姐妹丧亲的对话。通过分享丰富而详细的生活经验，我的博士学位为政策制定者和从业者提供了丰富的重要见解。在奖学金期间，我将与主要利益相关者合作，在组织支持兄弟姐妹及其提供的服务的方式上实施重大变革。我将与慈善机构“慈悲之友”密切合作，该机构依靠志愿者为失去亲人的父母、兄弟姐妹和祖父母提供同伴指导和指导。我们将一起利用我的博士研究成果来设计和实施一套策略和资源，如员工手册或培训手册，以帮助志愿者更好地支持那些获得慈善服务的失去亲人的兄弟姐妹。我还将与全国丧亲联盟合作，这是一个组织机构，联合起来提供有关最新研究的信息，以便告知最佳做法并影响地方和国家一级的政策制定者。这将大大扩大奖学金的影响范围，让高级职员了解我的博士研究结果，以便他们在自己的组织内传播，并将其用作游说活动的一部分。通过这些活动，奖学金将对英国各地的丧亲支持服务产生切实的影响，并通过学术和专业知识之间的合作参与。

There is no guarantee of a positive relationship with our siblings. Indeed, it is with brothers and sisters that we can have the fiercest of fall outs and most subtle of reconcilliations. Yet the relationship we share with our siblings can be one of the longest and possibly most intimate relationships of a lifetime. Regardless of closeness or levels of contact, the connection we have to our siblings is permanent. As such, brothers and sisters can play an integral role in shaping who we are, how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Moreover, the generational closeness of siblings and unique opportunity for shared childhood experiences means that no other friend or family member is able to fully imitate the role that brothers and sisters maintain. It therefore follows that the death of a sibling can have profound implications for any surviving brothers and/or sisters, initiating a bereavement experience unlike any other. Yet there is a distinct lack of research on sibling bereavement as focus is mostly given to parents who have experienced the death of a son or daughter. While this loss is hugely significant and deserving of such attention, it should not detract from the level of recognition and support afforded to bereaved siblings.This fellowship builds on my PhD research, which explored how the death of a brother and/or sister in early adulthood shapes people's lives in the long term. I wanted to give a voice to bereaved siblings and ensure that their experiences were recognised, both in academia and wider society. Unlike any previous studies, focus was on the social aspects of bereavement, rather than psychological factors. This meant that attention was given to the way that people socially adjust following a death, rather than ways to grieve effectively. Participants discussed topics such as how their relationships had changed, how they had negotiated these changes and how they managed speaking about their bereavement in public situations. By taking this approach, it is now known that parents, family and friends significantly impact upon the ways that siblings are able to express themselves and the extent to which they feel entitled to grieve. The research also revealed that the death of a sibling has lifelong implications, such as when caring for elderly parents, which must now be reflected within the provision offered to bereaved siblings. The purpose of the fellowship, therefore, is to distribute the PhD findings and initiate conversation about sibling bereavement amongst professionals and practioners who work to support those affected.By sharing rich and detailed accounts of lived experience, my PhD provides a wealth of vital insights for policy makers and practitioners. During the fellowship, I will collaborate with key stakeholders to enact significant change in the way that organisations support siblings and the services that they provide. I will work closely with The Compassionate Friends, a charity which relies on volunteers to offer peer guidance and mentoring to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Together we will use my PhD findings to design and implement a set of strategies and resources, such as staff handbooks or training manuals, to help volunteers better support bereaved siblings who access the charity. I will also work with the National Bereavement Alliance, a body of organisations which unite to provide information about updates in research in order to inform best practice and influence policy makers at a local and national level. This will extend the reach of the fellowship impact considerably, informing senior staff of my PhD findings so that they can distribute it within their own organisation and use it as part of their lobbying campaigns. Through these activities, the fellowship will have tangible impact upon bereavement support services across the UK, informed by collaborative engagement between academic and professional expertise.