Sharing Our Stories: Experiences of Sibling Bereavement

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There is no guarantee of a positive relationship with our siblings. Indeed, it is with brothers and sisters that we can have the fiercest of fall outs and most subtle of reconcilliations. Yet the relationship we share with our siblings can be one of the longest and possibly most intimate relationships of a lifetime. Regardless of closeness or levels of contact, the connection we have to our siblings is permanent. As such, brothers and sisters can play an integral role in shaping who we are, how we see ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Moreover, the generational closeness of siblings and unique opportunity for shared childhood experiences means that no other friend or family member is able to fully imitate the role that brothers and sisters maintain. It therefore follows that the death of a sibling can have profound implications for any surviving brothers and/or sisters, initiating a bereavement experience unlike any other. Yet there is a distinct lack of research on sibling bereavement as focus is mostly given to parents who have experienced the death of a son or daughter. While this loss is hugely significant and deserving of such attention, it should not detract from the level of recognition and support afforded to bereaved siblings.This fellowship builds on my PhD research, which explored how the death of a brother and/or sister in early adulthood shapes people's lives in the long term. I wanted to give a voice to bereaved siblings and ensure that their experiences were recognised, both in academia and wider society. Unlike any previous studies, focus was on the social aspects of bereavement, rather than psychological factors. This meant that attention was given to the way that people socially adjust following a death, rather than ways to grieve effectively. Participants discussed topics such as how their relationships had changed, how they had negotiated these changes and how they managed speaking about their bereavement in public situations. By taking this approach, it is now known that parents, family and friends significantly impact upon the ways that siblings are able to express themselves and the extent to which they feel entitled to grieve. The research also revealed that the death of a sibling has lifelong implications, such as when caring for elderly parents, which must now be reflected within the provision offered to bereaved siblings. The purpose of the fellowship, therefore, is to distribute the PhD findings and initiate conversation about sibling bereavement amongst professionals and practioners who work to support those affected.By sharing rich and detailed accounts of lived experience, my PhD provides a wealth of vital insights for policy makers and practitioners. During the fellowship, I will collaborate with key stakeholders to enact significant change in the way that organisations support siblings and the services that they provide. I will work closely with The Compassionate Friends, a charity which relies on volunteers to offer peer guidance and mentoring to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Together we will use my PhD findings to design and implement a set of strategies and resources, such as staff handbooks or training manuals, to help volunteers better support bereaved siblings who access the charity. I will also work with the National Bereavement Alliance, a body of organisations which unite to provide information about updates in research in order to inform best practice and influence policy makers at a local and national level. This will extend the reach of the fellowship impact considerably, informing senior staff of my PhD findings so that they can distribute it within their own organisation and use it as part of their lobbying campaigns. Through these activities, the fellowship will have tangible impact upon bereavement support services across the UK, informed by collaborative engagement between academic and professional expertise.