Self-compassion and relationship maintenance: the moderating roles of conscientiousness and gender.
Self-compassion and relationship maintenance: the moderating roles of conscientiousness and gender.
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DOI：
10.1037/a0021884
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发表时间：
2011-05
影响因子：
7.6
通讯作者：
McNulty, James K.
中科院分区：
文献类型：
--
作者：
Baker, Levi R.;McNulty, James K.
亲密的人应该用自我批评还是自我同情来回应他们的人际错误？虽然期望自我同情通过提升自尊而有益于人际关系是合理的，但期望自我同情通过消除亲密者纠正人际错误的动机而损害人际关系也是合理的。两项相关研究、一项实验研究和一项纵向研究表明，自我同情是否有助于或损害人际关系取决于是否存在纠正人际错误的动机的性格来源。在男性中，自我同情的影响受到责任心的调节。在尽责性高的男性中，自我同情与纠正人际错误的更大动机（研究1和3）、观察到更有建设性的解决问题行为（研究2）、更多的迁就（研究3）和较少的婚姻满意度下降（人际问题严重程度的降低）相关（研究4）；在责任心较低的男性中，自我同情与这些结果呈相反的关系。相比之下，在女性中，可能是由于文化和/或生理原因，女性天生比男性更有动力维护自己的关系，所以自我同情从来没有损害过她们的关系。相反，女性的自我同情与纠正人际错误的动机（研究1）和关系满意度的变化（研究4）呈正相关，而与责任心无关。因此，自我推销思想对人际关系影响的理论描述可能是最完整的，因为它们考虑了纠正人际错误的其他动机来源的存在与缺失。
Should intimates respond to their interpersonal mistakes with self-criticism or with self-compassion? Although it is reasonable to expect self-compassion to benefit relationships by promoting self-esteem, it is also reasonable to expect self-compassion to hurt relationships by removing intimates’ motivation to correct their interpersonal mistakes. Two correlational studies, 1 experiment, and 1 longitudinal study demonstrated that whether self-compassion helps or hurts relationships depends on the presence versus absence of dispositional sources of the motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes. Among men, the implications of self-compassion were moderated by conscientiousness. Among men high in conscientiousness, self-compassion was associated with greater motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes (Studies 1 and 3), observations of more-constructive problem-solving behaviors (Study 2), reports of more accommodation (Study 3), and fewer declines in marital satisfaction that were mediated by decreases in interpersonal problem severity (Study 4); among men low in conscientiousness, self-compassion was associated with these outcomes in the opposite direction. Among women, in contrast, likely because women are inherently more motivated than men to preserve their relationships for cultural and/or biological reasons, self-compassion was never harmful to the relationship. Instead, women’s self-compassion was positively associated with the motivation to correct their interpersonal mistakes (Study 1) and changes in relationship satisfaction (Study 4), regardless of conscientiousness. Accordingly, theoretical descriptions of the implications of self-promoting thoughts for relationships may be most complete to the extent that they consider the presence versus absence of other sources of the motivation to correct interpersonal mistakes.
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